The Ultimate Death Gambit: My Chimichangas Confession.
So I’ve been selling on eBay since 1999. If you’ve read anything I’ve posted on this site before there has likely been shameless promoting of some of my [nerd wares] Look I just did it again! I’m not sure how many thousands of listings I’ve created in that time. But it is safe to say it is over 9000. Keeping it strictly business gets boring. So sometimes I like to mix things up with guarantees against alien invasions or even offering rebates in exchange for silly photos of my deadpool shirts and pancakes.
Tonight, I was listing a new [Deadpool Backpack] and I just felt like “this is a backpack BUY PLZ” just wasn’t enough. As I’ve only read one Deadpool comic, I’m not an expert but I’ve seen hundreds of funny images featuring Deadpool and chimichangas have been mentioned a time or two.
My first thought was to pretend that I had been bombarded with the question: “How many chimichangas will this backpack hold” but I thought I would need to have a safe estimate. Someone out there might be a chimichanga expert and if I guessed 12 and the real answer was 30, then he might think the backpack is smaller than it really is. What if I said 25 and it only holds 23? Then I’m looking at getting a backpack return that reeks of chimichangas! Plus can you imagine the negative feedback? “He promised me this backpack would hold 25 chimichangas and he lied!” My sales might never recover from such lambaste. O l know I wouldn’t want to buy from a guy who promises a backpack will hold 25 chimichangas but it only actually held 23! I’m a pretty honest guy so just going with the truth has been my “go to” choice. Would you believe I’ve never had a chimichanga? Madness, I know. It was a gambit for sure but I outed myself on eBay…
Anyway, I hope that doesn’t hurt my sales but if it made someone do a double take while scrolling through listings then my work is done. Before you crucify me, consider this image:
Now I feel like I need to try a chimichanga. I wasn’t even familiar with what was in it so to Wikipedia I went and was told the ingredients were “most commonly rice, cheese, machaca, carne adobada, or shredded chicken, and folding it into a rectangular package.” I was not familiar with machaca or adobada but when I clicked links and found out those were both meats, I knew they couldn’t be all that bad. So now its 10pm on a Friday night and I’m wanting to try a chimichanga and I’ve got more [backpacks]
In case I am sold out of the backpacks by the time you find this post, this is what the backpack actually looked like:
