Breakaway Lanyards: The Truth Revealed

Before it got shut down for being “Full of Crapโ„ข”, there was a very popular website that published a report about lanyards. According to this report, lanyards were responsible for more human deaths than cigarettes, guns, swimming pools, hippotamus attacks and cholestrol COMBINED. That’s pretty devastating when you think about it.

The thing about lanyards is that shit happens. It can happen while you’re wearing a lanyard. Maybe you were standing in front of an elevator door and somehow your lanyard got snagged. Boom! Your head explodes as the elevator goes to the next floor. So you say you don’t take the elevator, well what about escalators or moving walkways? Maybe you had a drink too many at lunch (for those under 21, I assume its juice) and you take a tumble. Your lanyard gets stuck in the escalator and DOINK! Your head is snapped off and launched into the air landing in a bowl of fruit punch approximately 162.4 feet from the escalator. We’ve all seen the videos on Youtube.

There has to be a better way!

There is! We’ve got new breakaway lanyards in stock! With an easy plastic clasp, your life is no longer in the danger it once was while near an escalator or elevator. No more Boom! exploding head. No more DOINK! and your head spiraling through the air and landing in punch bowls 162.4 feet away. ย You can visit or store here or you can actually browse and even checkout from this page from the links below!

What do you think?